Wild West Days

In the days of the Wild West there was a young man who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first rate and  that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one night, he recognized an elderly man sitting  at the bar, who, in his day was had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the west. The young man took a place next to the old timer, bought him a drink  and told him the story of his great ambition.

"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down. "Well, for one thing, you are  wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.  "That's terrific!" he said."Got any more tips for me?"  "Yep," said the old timer. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits. It will give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You bet it will," said the old man.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy."Got any more tips?"  The old man pointed to a large can in the corner of the saloon  "See  that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over to the can and smeared grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old timer, " I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much."

..and said the Princess - in case they don't have breads - let them have Cakes !

Once in a kindergarten, a teacher asks a very rich girl to write an essay on the topic " A Poor Family"

So she writes:

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, do bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!
ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha,  3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha  family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!

Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study.

Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or

Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

The Lady Sexologist.

A man boards a Jet Airways airplane Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat.

As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realizes she's heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks "Business trip or vacation?"

She turns, smiles, and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual Sexologists Convention."

He swallows hard. Here is the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she's a sexologist!

Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, he calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she says, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he says, swallowing hard. "What m-m-m-myths are those?"

Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that Negro men are the best endowed when, in fact, it's the Tamilian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the Bengali.

However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Sardarji."

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name!"

"Venkatraman!" the man blurts. " Venkatraman Mukherjee! But my friends call me Santa Singh!"

Seeing the above presentation - if you are wondering - exactly how to go about knowing our Creator- then first <CLICK HERE> - for a change of ATTITUDE.

Now that you know how miniscule we are and that we better change our attitude for sure shot success - <CLICK HERE> - to start working on the present scenario of the World - respective Countries will take care of their own people - Charity Begins at Home - remember?

More Brain Stuff . . .  From Cambridge University.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the  ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat  ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll  raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey  lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas  tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on  !!