"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an oppor tunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.

A story with a riddle - for the yins and yangs of the world.Know the truth - Now !

ps : You gotta have MS- EXCEL to see the Animation Attached herewith.

How to Answer the Tough Interview Questions

A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the tough questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:


Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were
underutilized.

What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can't concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I'm a workaholic. I just don't know when to put
down my work.


You don't seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you'll stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only competent employees..
What you should say: I'm at a point in my career where I am tired of moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term enterprise, where I can make a contribution.

For all those of u aiming for job switches...............

How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I'm out of clean underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only constant is change. I thrive on it.

How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.

What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don't have to drag my sorry ass out of bed to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable enterprise.

What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean. That word is not in my vocabulary.

Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious person he is.
What you should say: I don't think I'd call him a boss; he's been more of a mentor to me.

Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don't get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker not pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do get angry with co-workers.

Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won't know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now. Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.

After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take Another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I Love you, but I know this other woman loves you and Would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the Demands of my work and my three children had made it Possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner And a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked?
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a LATE NIGHT CALL or a surprise invitation is a sign of Bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to Spend some time with you," I responded.

"Just the two of us." She thought about it for a Moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I Noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our Date. She waited in the door with her coat on.

She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that She had worn to celebrate her last wedding
Anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as Radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was
Going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," She said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait To hear about our meeting." We went to a restaurant That, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.

My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes Could only read large print. Half way through the Entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there Staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It Was I who used to have to read the menu when you were Small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and Let me return the favour," I responded. During the Dinner, we had an agreeable conversation-nothing Extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life.

We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we Arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out With you again, but only if you let me invite you." I Agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got Home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have Imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart Attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a Chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy Of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this Bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; But nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you And the other for your wife. You will never know what That night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying In time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the Time they deserve.

NOTHING IN LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOUR FAMILY!!!
Give them the time they deserve, because these things
CANNOT be 'PUT OFF' till "SOME OTHER TIME."

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to Normal after you've had a baby. Somebody doesn't know That once you're a mother, "Normal" is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ... Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring . Somebody Never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a Driver's' permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child Will "turn out good" ... Somebody thinks a child comes With directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ... Somebody never came out the back door just in time To see her child hit a golf ball through the Neighbour's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a Mother... Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first ... somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery ... somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married ... somebody doesn't know that
marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her . somebody isn't a mother.

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,

if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

.....................................................................

Practice makes perfect.....

But nobody's perfect......

so why practice?

.....................................................................

If it's true that we are here to help others,

then what exactly are the others here for?

....................................................................

Since light travels faster than sound,

people appear bright until you hear them speak.

....................................................................

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

....................................................................

Money is not everything.

There's Mastercard & Visa.

....................................................................

One should love animals.

They are so tasty.

....................................................................

Save water.

Shower with your girl friend.

....................................................................

Love thy neighbor.

But don't get caught.

.....................................................................

Behind every successful man, there is a woman

And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

.....................................................................

Every man should marry.

After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

.....................................................................
....

The wise never marry.

and when they marry they become otherwise.

.....................................................................

Success is a relative term.

It brings so many relatives.

.....................................................................

Never put off the work till tomorrow

what you can put off today.

....................................................................

Love is photogenic

It needs darkness to develop

.....................................................................

Children in backseats cause accidents

Accidents in backseats cause children

.....................................................................

"Your future depends on your dreams"

So go to sleep

....................................................................

There should be a better way to start a day

Than waking up every morning

.....................................................................

"Hard work never killed anybody"

But why take the risk !

....................................................................

"Work fascinates me"

I can look at it for hours !

.....................................................................

God made relatives;

Thank God we can choose our friends.

.....................................................................

When two's company,

three's the result !

.....................................................................

A dress is like a barbed fence

It protects the premises without restricting the view

.....................................................................

The more you learn, the more you know,

The more you know, the more you forget

The more you forget, the less you know

So.. why learn.

.....................................................................

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....

what more can I say........

*Newton**'s Method: *

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

*Einstein Method:*

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also
run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

*Software Engineer Method:*

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven
that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will
upgrade it to Lion.

*Indian Police Method:*

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to
accept that its a lion.

*Jayalalitha Method:*

> Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM
and kill it, while it's sleeping !

*Karan Johar Method (director):*

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by
another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second
lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15
yrrs, then also u wont!

*Yash Chopra method (director):*

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a
good scenic location.

*Govinda method:*

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

*Menaka Gandhi method:*

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some
vegetables continuously.

*George Bush method:*

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

*Ravi** Shastri method: *

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders